I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
