What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
