The maid of honor just puked.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
