I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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