You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
