WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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