Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
