Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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