Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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