i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
