Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
