I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
