You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
