I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize