I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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