Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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