it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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