FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
