The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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