dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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