I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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