Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
