a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
