Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
