R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
