But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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