OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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