we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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