Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
