Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
