Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
