is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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