she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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