I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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