I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
