too bad you live with your parents still
Buhtt sex?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
