Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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