The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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