just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
