So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
