No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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