Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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