9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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