HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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