I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
