I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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