Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
