It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
