i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
