I hate your face
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
