Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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