Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
