so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
