apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
