do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
