nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Randomize