I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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