Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
