I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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