Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
