We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
