hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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