My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize