He is such a slut. More and more my type.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
