I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize