good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
