you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
