New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
