im drinking this country out of the recession.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
