It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
